So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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