Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
