I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
