Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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