I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize