I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
