Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
