Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
