that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
