just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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