You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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