So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
