Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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