I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
