Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
