**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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