we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Randomize
