well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
