Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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