Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
