I want to walk on stilts...naked
i would punch a child for taco bell
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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