Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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