I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize