why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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