hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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