I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
