just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
