I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
