update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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