So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
