Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
