Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
