Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
