It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
