Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
