I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
