Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
