There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
