thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
