Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
time to smoke my breakfast
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize