So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
