Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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