It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We got so high we made milksteak
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
