I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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