omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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