You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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