At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
