Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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