seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
soo... how was my night?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
