You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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