I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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