ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
