just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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