I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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