We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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