I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
