why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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