alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize