What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are