Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
