i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos