Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.