I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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