I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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